Kohaku's choice
by Blitzdreamer
Summary: See how Kohaku became Naraku's Pawn and why he can't leave. Will Kohaku one day kill Sango because he doesnt remember her, could he live with that?


Hello all! i wanted to keep this song fic seperate from my unforgettable songfic story. i always wondered how thing happened between Kohaku and Naraku. So this is my POV of how things with Kohaku.

so Please read and review. Comments are always close to my heart and helps me :D

thx!

B

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_It doesn't mean much_

_It doesn't mean anything at all_

_The like I've left behind me_

_Is a cold room_

Kohaku was in a dark room. "Am I dead?" he wondered. He was surrounded by the darkness. His heart was hurting so much that he could imagine the blood of his broken heart on his hands. "What have I done?" he thought to himself. He remembered the screams, the blood and the deaths. Everyone he truly loved, gone, dead by his own bloody hands. His eyes squeezed shut from the memory. He even killed his sister Sango. He saw his actions when he was being controlled but he couldn't stop himself. He felt so dirty, so used. Most of all, he felt guilty, so much that he felt he was drowning in it.

_I've crossed the last line_

_From where I cant return_

_Where every step I took in faith_

_Betrayed me_

_And led me from my home_

Suddenly a light! Kohaku turned around wondering who would disrupt his self inflicting torture. A tall man slowly made his way towards him. Kohaku didn't believe his eyes; the man was wearing a white baboon coat. The light around him made him look majestic, even unearthly. The man looked at Kohaku, a small smile appearing on his lips. Kohaku took a step back, not knowing what to expect.

"Do not fear me child, I will not hurt you!" the man said while raising his hands showing he meant no harm. Kohaku looked at him; the man didn't seem threatening at all.

"I am here to save you!" the man said.

Kohaku looked at him not believing his ears. He couldn't be saved, not for all the wrongs he did. He should be tortured, even killed for his actions. As if reading Kohaku's thoughts, the man slowly approached Kohaku till he was standing in front of him. He saw the boy's tortured eyes and placed his hand on Kohaku's shoulder.

"There is a way, a way to atone for your sins. You only need to be willing!"

Kohaku looked up at the man. He didn't know if there was any truth behind his words but he was willing to try. He nodded to the man and agreed to be saved.

"Close your eyes, and I promise, everything will be better… just let it go… let it all go!"

As in a trance, Kohaku closed his eyes and welcomed the darkness.

_And sweet_

_Sweet surrender_

_Is all I have to give_

Kohaku felt as though he was falling. He was surrounded by darkness yet he was falling. He was falling towards the light. Memories flashed through his head: his sweet sister Sango and Kilala. He saw his parents and his village. He also remembered what happened not so long ago in the village when he killed everyone. Yet suddenly, Kohaku didn't feel the tremendous amount of guilt he felt before. It was as though the farther down he was falling, the more blurry his memories became.

_You take me in_

_No questions asked_

_You strip away the ugliness_

_That surrounds me_

_Are you an angel_

_Am I already that gone_

_I only hope_

_That I won't disappoint you_

_When I'm down here_

_On my knees_

Kohaku stood in the light. It surrounded him like a warm blanket. Kohaku's eyes were glazed over, his memories slowly unreachable. He only knew that the man was his angel of mercy, someone who saved him. Kohaku fell on his knees and swore loyalty, that he would be his servant. The man looked at him and smiled. He embraced Kohaku. Suddenly, Kohaku felt his back tingle when the man touched him, it burned a bit but Kohaku ignored the sensation, the only thing he knew was that everything will be ok.

_And sweet_

_Sweet_

_Sweet surrender_

_Is all I have to give_

_Sweet_

_Sweet_

_Sweet surrender_

_Is all I have to give_

**A few months later **

Kohaku stood in front of a young woman. He was told that she was his enemy, that she and her friends meant harm to Naraku, his savior. Kohaku raised his weapon, ready to attack. The woman's weapon was on the ground, untouched. Her eyes were blurry, as though she was holding back tears. Kohaku didn't understand why the woman seemed so sad. She was always like that when he faced her. Unknown to even himself, Kohaku had difficulty attacking her. It was as though something in his heart told him not to, but Kohaku didn't understand why. Kohaku heard a voice in his head. It was Naraku: "Attack her! Kill her!" Kohaku owed everything to Naraku. He never hesitated when Naraku asked something of him. Then why, why was it so hard for him to do this.

Kohaku slowly raised his weapon. He took a fighting stance, ready to attack. He raised his arm, ready to strike. As he was about to attack, his arm started shaking. Staring at it, Kohaku couldn't understand why his body was hesitating.

Kohaku suddenly heard a tree branch snapping behind him. He turned around to see a tall, silver haired Inu demon with golden eyes. He looked part man, part beast. The demon raised his claws and attacked Kohaku. Kohaku barely had time to dodge the attack as the demon rushed him. Kohaku raised his weapon and threw it at the demon who easily evaded it. The woman raised her boomerang and threw it. Kohaku expected her to attack, while he was distracted yet she didn't. Her aim was towards the demon. Was she protecting him? And if she was then why?

Kohaku stood like a statue watching the demon and the woman fight. They were screaming at each other but Kohaku didn't bother listening to their discussion. He only knew they were talking about him.

The demon evaded the woman's boomerang attack and rushed Kohaku, slashing his arm. Kohaku screamed out in pain as he fell on the ground, gripping his injured arm. A memory flashed through Kohaku's head. He was surrounded around dead corpses, their blood on his weapon. Kohaku shook the memory out of his head. He didn't know if it was true but he didn't want to remember. He felt the bile that came up his throat, the great amount of guilt his heart felt while seeing that flashback. He curled himself in a ball rocking himself, trying to forget, desperately trying to forget.

Kohaku suddenly felt a light touch on his arm. He turned around to see the woman. Her eyes seemed worried yet glad that he as alive. Her tears escaped her now; a slow and beautiful smile appeared on her porcelain face. Kohaku couldn't help but feel happy to see her smile, his heart busted out of joy.

_And I don't understand_

_By the touch of you hand_

_I would be the one to fall_

_I miss the little things_

_Oh I miss everything_

Kohaku's head began throbbing. It was as though it was begging him to remember the woman. She was important to him, he didn't know how but he knew that.

"Attack her! Kill her!"

Kohaku stood up now as though in a trance. He vaguely heard the woman talk to him; her words seemed so far away. He could only hear Naraku's voice, his command. As a puppet being controlled by a puppeteer; Kohaku raised his weapon and swung it at the woman.

He heard her painful scream. She was clutching her stomach, blocking the oozy liquid from dripping out. All his thoughts left him as he rushed her and attacked her. She blocked the best she could while holding her injury. She suddenly misstep and fell on the ground. Kohaku slowly approached her, like a hunter towards a defenseless prey. She didn't try to escape; she looked at him, waiting for her fate.

Kohaku raised his weapon, ready to kill her when he heard her whisper his name. His arm stood in place as flashes of memories past through his head. Kohaku suddenly blinked and gazed down at the woman. Tears gathered in his eyes as he whispered:" Sango, my sweet sister!"

Kohaku turned around and took off. He ran hearing his sister call him back. He couldn't go back, he couldn't face her. He ran as fast as he could, as far away as possible. Kohaku's legs crumbled as all his memories came back. Kohaku held his head trying to keep them away, he couldn't handle them, they were too much for him.

He remembered everything, his village, his parents, all the time he and Sango would play. But he also remembered the night where everything changed. The night he betrayed everyone he loved, when he raised his weapon at his family and killed them. He remembered the look on Sango's face as he stabbed her. His heart was breaking, he couldn't see straight anymore. It hurt so much, too much for him to handle the guilt he felt.

Naraku suddenly appeared, looked at Kohaku with a devilish smile. Kohaku begged and pleaded to Naraku to make the pain stop, to make it go away. Naraku waited, greatly enjoying Kohaku's suffering.

"Let this be a lesson!" he whispered as he slowly touched Kohaku.

As Kohaku felt the darkness claim him he turned back to where he last saw Sango. A lonesome tear escaped his eyes as he knew that he would forget her again. How he wished things to be different, how he wished things could be before he committed an unspeakable act but he couldn't, he wasn't strong enough to live with the guilt. His last thought before letting darkness claim him was Sango and how he loved her. He hoped that maybe the next time she faced him she would attack him, and kill him, because he couldn't bare being the one to kill her again, even if he didn't remember her.

_It doesn't mean much_

_It doesn't mean anything at all_

_The life I left behind me_

_Is a cold room!_

_And sweet_

_Sweet_

_Sweet surrender_

_Is all I have to give_

_Sweet_

_Sweet_

_Sweet surrender_

_Is all I have to give_

Kohaku opened his eyes and faced Naraku as he always did, as his faithful servant. His past was erased, not existent. He didn't know his past actions or that at this precise moment his sister was crying for him to come back to her. Even though he felt glad to serve Naraku and his mission he couldn't help but feel the void in his heart that begged him to remember, remember his dear sister who loved him with all her heart and begged him to come back to her.

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I know its sad... doesnt part of you want to slap him for his choice. well see u all later

B


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